Using Marital Counseling To Stop Divorce Written on November 5, 2009, by Colton K. Kiester.
After you know for sure that divorce is in the works, and you don’t want it to, you be scrambling to find a way to stop divorce before it is settled. This may mean convincing your spouse to give the marriage another chance. There are times, when this may not be an option. Still, you need an approach. It will require hard work and ingenuity to express to your spouse why you think there are good reasons to remain married. Even though you can stop a divorce at any time before it is finalized, the earlier you do this, the better your chances are of holding the marriage together.
If you’re earnest about devising a method to stop divorce, you might want to consider your approach thus far. You should pause and reflect on this for a few minutes. For example, if you have went with begging and whining to stop the divorce, then stop it now! This increases the stress and pressure to your spouse so they become more resistant to ideas of saving the marriage. This is just an awful way to do things.
Begging and whining do not provide the sound reasons your spouse needs to remain in the marriage. You are belittling yourself and your spouse with such childish behavior. Even though you may get some results for such behavior, they are rarely lasting. You want your spouse to consider seriously whether the marriage is worth saving, not how they can keep you quiet. If want to stop divorce, you need to take a different approach. You should handle things as an adult. By doing this, you may be ready to take advantage of marital counseling to achieve your goal.
If you suggest that the two of you take some type of marital counseling prior to going ahead with the divorce, you show them maturity. This route also gives you opportunity to find a permanent way to repair your marriage. Counseling may allow you to voice your desire to give marriage a second chance, that you do not want the divorce, in a calm, mature tone that won’t put your spouse in a defensive or resistant frame of mind. In truth, you just improve the odds that you will stop divorce from happening.
If your spouse makes the decision to take counseling with you, it will be your task to prove that you are committed to seeing it through and you’re ready to hear their concerns and viewpoints on the relationship. Most importantly, you should tell them that you are willing to work on any differences. Counseling is not the place to voice your partner’s weaknesses or illustrate the times they’ve offended you.
To be able to stop divorce, you want them to leave counseling feeling as though they’ve been heard and respected, and you want them to leave feeling good about themselves. Bear in mind that if they leave feeling bad or defensive, then you may have lost the chance to work through your marital problems, because they may not be back next time.
If you can get your spouse to agree to wait on divorce, then you have only just begun your work, so don’t stop. Be sure you are willing to keep working at it. You should continue counseling to work through all of your problems so you can begin rebuilding your fractured relationship so that it’s better than before. It is possible to stop divorce before it begins.
If you are attempting to stop divorce yourself, then you could benefit from a solid resource on the subject. What I have found is that those who are having marital problems fail to seek out help where it may be found.
categories: stop divorce,end divorce,postpone divorce
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