The First Date After Your Divorce Written on May 11, 2010, by Carol Cavanaugh.
Most divorce settlements do not go so quietly or amicably. The marriage often ended because of a tragic event that occurred, either abuse or infidelity. It can be difficult to being dating again after a divorce. While you do need to move on and find a way to be happy in your life, you should take the time that is necessary to heal from the wounds of the divorce.
The best thing is to learn a lesson from whatever ended your marriage. You should set any personal feelings about your ex aside and really think about what you may have done to contribute to the divorce. You have to acknowledge these shortcomings now, or they could ruin any future relationship you might have.
Don’t dismiss your own shortcomings when you start dating again after your divorce. If you find somebody you actually like to be with, ensure that you keep your past mistakes history. You should never evaluate the new interest against your ex and never believe that they will cause you pain similar to what your ex did. This is a new person with new interests and ideas.
If you begin to get closer to this person then you should spend some time discussing the issues that you had in your previous marriage. Be sure that this person does not have the habits or mentality that you could not tolerate in your ex.
You should never fool yourself into believing that you can change this new love interest into the person that you would love forever. If you cannot accept someone the way they are, move on to someone else who is more compatible for you.
Yes, there is no such person as the “perfect” person as we all have faults but some faults are tolerable while others are surely deal breakers. If you find their little quirks manageable then you should not have the desire to change them in order to mold them into the person that you will love for life.
Re-entering the dating arena, should be done slowly. Why not go out and see what life is all about? You may be surprised and find the person that you have been looking for but do not rush into anything. Keep your mind focused on your needs and desires and let love take its natural course.
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