How To Talk To Your Kids About The Divorce Written on May 14, 2010, by Benjamin West.
If divorce is a topic that’s difficult for adults, imagine how hard it is for children. The conversation may be difficult, but it’s important to have it if you don’t want your children to be left wondering about the answers and filling in the blanks on their own. Kids are often deeply upset by divorce, but it can be resolved when there is good communication between them and the parents.
When you are considering how to tell the kids, you must first think about their ages and their maturity levels. There is no need to go in to a long, lengthy discussion with a two year old that does not understand what you are saying and that is not able to speak on their own at that point.
When children are small, you merely must let them know that dad or mom is going to move to a new place and won’t be living with them from now on. Be sure to tell them that the parent that is leaving truly loves them and wants them around but that they will have their main home with the parent that will have custody.
Kids begin to get a clearer understanding about love as they become mature. Kids don’t want to have to watch you and your spouse fighting all the time, so they’ll appreciate any break in the chaos they can get. Honesty is always the best policy if you believe your children are mature enough to understand what divorce is and what it may mean to them.
You should tell them that the parents cannot live together any longer because they have fallen out of love. While you shouldn’t sugar coat the process, you should also be very careful not to slander your spouse in front of the kids, no matter how old they are.
They have great affection for both of their parents and they would certainly be against the one that speaks rubbish to the other in their presence. Even if your, soon to be ex, was really a terrible person and did some horrific things, the kids do not need to hear of it. You do not want to be responsible for turning a son or daughter against their parent. They will only resent you in the future.
If you have to explain a divorce to your children, trust in their love and talk to them honestly in an age-appropriate manner.
Trusler Menduni PLLC is a favorite resource for couples searching for a Board Certified Divorce Lawyer in Austin. The resource also has a free Guide to Austin Divorce Audio CD that teaches you the basics of divorce that everyone needs to know.
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