Divorce for the Sake of the Children Written on July 26, 2009, by Benjamin West.
For the children’s sake, many married couples abstain from divorce. While splitting up is sure to have a negative impact on the children warring couples do not consider that the impact on the children of staying together. A more suitable solution would be an amicable split.
Many believe happiness and love are essential for a growing child to become an adapted adult. While that may be a sweeping generalization, there is a bit of truth to it. Coming home from school every day to parents that argue or can not stand being near one another, is not a healthy environment for a child.
While many parents think they can keep their marital problems away from the children it is a facade. This is impossible. A child experiences outer appearance of love well. Actions are more important than words when parents interact with each other. If a child grows up in a family where this love is not present what are they going to learn about love for their own future? Will a silent marriage be the norm for these growing children as they become adults? Do they believe there is no need to put effort into their marital partnership?
However, staying together for the children’s sake rather than for love’s sake makes the relationship between the parents worse rather than better. When they do finally decide to divorce then they are so far gone that there is no chance of an amicable split. Further damage is done.
Some of the problems of a messy divorce are the arguments over the property settlement, custody battles, child support payments, arguments about who takes the children on a given day, where do the children go to school, what friends to they have, how are they expected to relate to the parent’s new lovers and step parents? Some will actively try to get the children to take sides.
An amicable split is best when parents are no longer in love or willing to try. Parents should be supportive of each other, helping out with the children, holding civil conversations, and able to make compromises. Parents being able to speak to their children in a mature way about each other and what went wrong in the parent’s relationship. That way, children learn from the mistakes of their parents.
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